Z Narsty Amusment Park Story
by Viv
Summary: Don't Wizards have amusment parks? Robin And Viv are back!!!
1. Default Chapter Title

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Z The Very Narsty Amusment Park Story:

Disclaimer: The characters except for Vivianne, Robin, and hypothetically the young Sirius belong to Ms. Rowling, so there.

A 15 year old Harry Potter was in Transfiguration class when something very strange happened. Two distant figures from his troubled transvestite past appeared. Professer McGonagall was in the middle of teaching her lesson when the door to the classroom opened and two hot redhead chicks walked in. But they were not just any redheads, they were the 'muggle' ones that only last year, had transformed Harry into a chick durning a very deranged fanfiction (see: **_Harriett Potter and the Mirror of Desrever By: Tigerlily_**). 

"Hello, can we help you?" said McGonagall, "Oh wait, you're the new students aren't you? Please sit down."

"Thanx." said the taller one.

"Students," said McGonagall, "These girls are going to be attending school with you from now on. They are from America. This," she pointed to the taller one, "is Vivianne Fuc'you. And her sister, Robin Fuc'you." Stupid names or what?

Then McGonagall, being the stiff old bird that she was, continued with class.

Afterwords, out side the classroom, they introduced themselves to every one.

"Hi Harry," said Vivianne, "Of course we already know you, are you pissed at us for turning you into a chick last year?"

"No, it was a good experience."

"Hi, I'm Hermione," said Ron, I mean Hermione. "And this is Ron."

"Yo." said Ron.

"Ya 'all can call me Viv." Said Vivianne.

"Hey look!" a voice behind them sounded, "It's those chicks again! Are they available Potter?"

"Not to you Malfoy." Said Viv. "You're just not sexy enough for us, sorry. In fact, a pile of shit would be sexier than you."

"Yah, and we're Gryffindors," Robin put in, "And you know the rules about not jacking off at people in other houses, so put that thing back already." She pointed to his pants.

"Why should I? I like it where it is." 

"Because it's frick'n nasty, that's why!!!!!!!" Viv yelled.

"Come on, let's go." Said Harry. "He's bi anyway."

They turned away and walked to the Gryffindor Common Room as Malfoy flipped them off. 

"Malfoy just freaks me out. I can't believe any one could be so _not_ sexy." Said Viv.

"Well just look at Neville! He's a virgin, and he's 15!" 

"15 doesn't seem that old when your not sex-crazed."

"That's true.But do you know any one like that?"

Just then, Fred and George walked over.

"Who are you chicks?" George asked.

"We're the new pornstars." Said Viv.

"Really? I hope you guys are good."

"We're the best." Said Robin. "But we're really expensive, although we can be payed in cash, credit, checks, pot, pcp, _or_ crack."

"Are you serious?!" Harry asked.

"Hell no!" Viv said, "We don't do porn, but we will do just about any thing else, so what we really want to know, is who are the hottest guys around here?"

"Well, pretty much everyone but Neville and the Slytherins, other than that, every one's hot." Said Hermione, "Oh yah, stay away from the Creeveys, there're about as sexy as Neville's toad."

"Ok, that's just frick'n nasty."

"And don't go down to the kitchens, the house elve will try to hump you legs."

"Thanx for the warning." Robin gagged.

"So is anything going on at school we should know about; drug busts.field trips?" said Viv.

"Actually, we are going on a 5th year field trip to an amusement park somewhere." Hermione put in, "It's supposed to be really good, no suppervision or anything. And it's magical too."

"Shnazy."

"See you later Robin, bye Viv," said Fred, "it was nice meeting you, but I've got a date with Angelina, we're going to go make out in the forbidden forest. Maybe a little more if I'm lucky."

"I'm going to join them, we're having a threesome." George added.

As they turned to leave, Hermoine slapped George's butt. 

"He's been working out."

**********

Viv: stars, stars, every where!

Later, in the guys dorm, Harry, Viv, and Robin where all smoking joints Harry had stolen from Snape's desk. 

"Before we get too stoned," he mumbled, "I gotta ask you guys; why'd you come back to Hogwarts after turning me into a bitch last year? Have you come to turn me into a frick'n chick again?"

"Nah, Robin has a crush on Ron," Viv said absentmindedly, "among other things."

Harry shrugged. "Ron's single now. Just tell him you wanna screw with him, he thinks your hot anyway. Is that it?"

"We're sick of America too. It's cool for while, but every one's so screwed and/or uptight." Robin grumbled. "But you know we'll go back, you can't leave for long if your just as screwed as everyone else."

"Oh.." Harry mumbled incoherently, "That clears up a lot."

********

Viv: those aren't real stars..

Ron and Robin had escaped to the girl's bathroom, and Fred and George were still gone, so it just Harry, Viv, and Hermione hanging out in the common room 5 hours later. Hermione was writing a really sick letter to Viktor Krum about getting screwed, Harry was looking for joints under the couch, and Viv was going through a nature chick stage and was trying the meditate to the Goddess of the Trees, when an owl came through the window and landed on Harry's ass, but not before taking a shit on Hermione's letter.

"Ow." Harry said. "Sharp talons."

Viv came out of her trace and took the owl's letter.

"Yo Harry, it's from Snuffles." She said.

"Who?" 

"Sirius, you dumb ass."

"Oh yah, read it, will ya?"

"Yah, it says, 

'Harry-

I am having nearly mid-life crisis. So I'm coming down to Hogwarts to hang out with some one my own age. Oh yah, I also took an anti-aging potion, so I'm your age now, but it should wear off in about a month or whatever. I took it when I was high, so I'm not totally responsible. Sorry, man. The good news is now I'm free to hang with you guys cause no one will recognise me, yo? So like, the other good news is I have always had a tendency to act 15 even when I was 30, so who the hell cares. 

Screw You

-Sirius'

That's cool." Viv finished.

"Hell ya," said Harry, coming out from under the couch, "but you girls better be careful, if he's our age, he'll probably wanna fuck. And who wouldn't? He hasn't screwed any one in like 13 years!"

"I don't care, I'm game, as long as he's not ugly." Viv said.

"He's probably be alright looking," Hermione put in, "if he gets a hair cut, gains some weight, quits eating rats, and spends some time out in the sun."

"Do you know any 15 year old who could stand to look like he just got out of Azkaban? You know he's probably gonna want to make hiself hot & sexy for all the chicks. He'd probably be a pimp right now if he hadn't been sent to Azkaban. I won't be suprized if he doesn't have any maturity at all any way. And if he does, what guy in his 30's would wanna screw a 15 year old?" Harry said.

"Snape." Hermione suggested.

"Oh yah," Harry said, "didn't he have an affair with that Slytherin bitch last year?"

"That is so sick!" Viv blurted out. "He is sooooooo ugly! Who would want to screw with him any way!?! Other than Malfoy, I mean?"

Just then Robin came in through the portrait hole with her shirt on backwards, with Ron following behind. 

"She's _good_!!" he said with an excited look of his face.

"You're not so bad yourself." Robin told him, winking.

"Robin," Harry said, absentmindedly, "since I saw you last, you've totally lost every ounce of sanity you ever had."

"Isn't it great?" she sighed, "Now I can get screwed and not be a priss about it. I went through extensive therapy to loose my sanity, and Viv was a real help. She inspired me to be a sexy bitch."

"Thanx Viv." Said Ron.

"Just doing my job! So when's this field trip you guys told me about?"

"In two days," Hermione said, "Hey! Does the letter say when Sirius is getting here maybe he'll wanna go and screw with us there!"

"_Maybe_? Oh course he will!" Harry said, "And no, it doesn't say when."

"Snuffles is coming?" 

"Yes Ron."

"HELLOI'MHERE EVERYONE!" came a voice.

"Speak of the devil.That was quick!" said Ron.

"YOWUZUPWHOWANTSTOGETSCREWEDFIRST?"

"What the hell are you on?!" said Harry as Sirius climbed through the window and landed on the floor with a thump. "And how did you scale that frick'n wall?"

"When your on what I'm on, you can do more than climb walls dude!"

" 'Dude'? Where do you think we are? America?"

"Yah? So? Now introduce me to your hot chicks already!" 

Sirius was definitly _not_ in his 30's. 

"Snape's gonna love this." Hermione said.

"Not as much as Malfoy is. He could use a new boy toy!"

"That's sick!" Viv said.

Sirius started to try to climb the walls and actually succeeded.

"Some one get him down! He'll fall!" squealled Robin as he started swinging from the chandalier singing "What a Night".

"Careful Robin," Viv warned, "your sanity's showing!"

"She's right though," Hermione looked worried, "he might fall."

"Oh, he's not that high up," Viv said, looking up at him, "he'll li-"

She never got to finish her sentence, and you wouldn't have been able to either if a 140 pound guy had fallen on you.

"Oh shit." She gasped.

"Well that takes care of that." Ron said.

"Help?" she said.

"Get the hell off her already, Sirius!" Harry kicked him.

"I'm quite comfy actually."

"Your crushing my frick'n boobs! Get off!" Viv wheezed.

"Well," Sirius said, "in _that_ case."

He hopped off. 

"I can breath again!.must getair!"

"Yo Harry!" Sirius said, and added, "I think my high just wore off. Damn."

"I'm going to kick your ass!" Viv yelled, "That frick'n hurt!"

"Ooh! I would love an ass kicking from _you_!!!!" 

"Where you always horny as a child?" Ron asked.

"Yah. So what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing." Ron said sarcastically, "You just _really_ need to calm down."

"Sirius, you are such a horny bastard," Hermione said, "And by the way we're going on a field trip to Fondu's Magical Amusment Park in a few days, you coming?"

"Sure, I- oh fuck!"

Viv had gotten up and kicked him in the balls.

"That's for being insensitive!"

"My dick!!!!! Oh shit!!!" he wheezed, and he rolled up in a fetal position on the ground.

"That's a little harsh Viv." Harry said.

"Hey! He's no pixie alright! You think I liked having 140 pounds on my chest!?!"

"I assumed you did." Sirius squeaked.

"Yah, well you assumed wrong, but I've had my revenge, so you're forgiven."

Sirius lay on the ground for a few for seconds before finally getting up and leaning against the wall.

"Any way," said Robin, "My name is Robin, and this is my sister Viv."

"We've met." said Sirius.

"We're friends of Harry's, from America." She added.

"Soooo," said Hermione, "I've noticed you've improved your appearance a lot Sirius."

"Yep! Did you expect me to keep looking like a dog?"

"Well,"

"Look, I'm starving and I'm horny, so can we eat now?"

"Yah, it's only like 6:00, so dinner should be starting soon, let's go." Harry answered.

As they left the G.C.R. (figure it out), and walked down the hall way, they heard Malfoy yell, "Ooh! A new boy toy! I'm so excited! Nice butt, new boy!"

**********

Viv: I'm seeing stars. Sirius is not light.

As they enjoyed dinner, Ron gave them all a little hard liquor to fill their cups with.

Ron played footsies with Robin.

Harry played footsies with Hermione, as they were both far away from any one who cared.

Sirius played footsies Viv, who had forgiven him, and didn't feel guilty about the fact that he was born in the 70's because and 3, she'd screw with **_almost_** anything that was male, human, within her age range by 5 years, and attractive.

Malfoy played footsies with himself.

After they finished with dinner, they headed for the gcr again.

Harry pulled Sirius aside as they were walking back and said, "Don't you think it's a little strange that you're my god father and your screwing my friend? I know she doesn't care, but she's not exactly sane."

"Really Harry," Sirius sighed, "It's no big deal. And we haven't even screwed yet. You'll get used to the thought of it after a while. Oh, and sorry for being such a dick earlier. I was on some strong stuff."

"It's alright, but just be careful, Viv is as strange as she is horny."

"Right."

**********

Robin: Look at all the stars.

The next day was Saturday, so every one slept in. When Harry finally wandered down stairs, Ron and Hermione were already there. 

"Are Viv and Robin up yet?" Harry asked Hermione.

"Nah." 

They sat around for ten minutes before getting bored.

"I'll play some one poker." Ron said finally.

"I'm game." Hermione said.

"Me too." said Harry.

A voice from the stairs called, "Only if it's strip!"

"Hi, Sirius." They chimed in together.

"Yo everyone."

Eventually, they convinced Snuffles to play regular poker, and about an hour later, Robin and Viv wandered down.

"Good morning sunshine." Hermione said, "Now that you guys are finally up, we can eat some frick'n breakfast."

"I'm so hungry," Harry said, "I could eat shit."

They rushed down to the great hall, and ate so fast that Hermione and Ron got sick enough to start puking on everyones plates. But they ran out of the Hall quick enough to do it somewhere else instead.

"I feel so much better." Hermione said, 10 minutes later.

"Me too." Said Ron.

They had been in the bathrooms, practicing their projectile vomiting skills.

Just then Neville walked up.

"Hi you guys," he said, "who's your new friend?" he pointed to Sirius.

"His name is Bob." Harry said. "Bob the wonder boytoy."

Neville went on, "Oh, look, I was like um wondering if like, I could hang um out with you guys like tomorrow at the um field trip place?"

They all looked at each other. 

"Well, Neville.you see.." Harry started.

"I wouldn't bother you guys too much!"

"No, oh no, that's not it, you see," Harry continued, "we're going on all the roller coasters, and _scary_ rides, and we know you don't like those, so."

"I could wait while you guys go on them!"

"..also when we're not on the rides, we'll be screwing each other in the bathroom stalls, and that's a bit private."

"Oh, alright then, um bye."

As he left they all sighed with relief.

"Bleh!" 'Bob' said, "That's just like Peter Pettigrew, always following us around and bugging us. I swear, that fat bastard is the next wormtail."

"Neville is so annoying," Ron said, "you know he's going to follow us around any way."

"Yah," Hermione said, "but at least now he won't talk to us, and he'll be a safe distance away."

"I hope he doesn't barf again. That was so sick. All he has to do is look at one of those rides, and he's spuing chunks!"

*********

The next morning, the prefects woke every one up at six.

"Get the hell off of me!" Viv said goggily, as a prefect chick tried to get her out of bed.

"Just get out of bed." Hermione said from across the room, "We've got that damn field trip today."

"No shit." said Robin.

It took them about an hour to get ready, and they were all wearing tube tops, short-shorts, platform strappy sandals, rock hard hair spray, and 1 pound of unsmudgable, waterproof make-up each.

The guys of course wore the usual; white tank tops and shorts that go down past your knees.

The walked down to the front of the school, where four yellow muggle school buses were waiting.

"We're riding this crap!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

"Yes we are, Ms. Fuc'you." McGonagall said, "They are the best way to avoid muggle attention."

"Well screw that!" Viv said, "I don't want to ride in those shitty things!"

"To bad."

So eventually Viv got on the Gryffindor bus, and sat down on a moldy old seat in the back seat.

"Where'd you get these pieces of junk?!" Hermione yelled from the back seat.

"A muggle rubbish yard!" McGonagall yelled back.

"That's fuck'n sick! I'm calling the S.P.S.T.!" Robin yelled.

"The what!?"

"The S.P.S.T!" she repeated, "The Society for Protection of Screwed Teenages! I'm a member you know!!!!!!!"

"You're also full of shit!" McGonagal yelled at her, "So shut your mouth and sit your candy ass down!"

"Fine! You wanna mess with me old woman?!?!?!" Robin screamed, "You wanna piece of me!?!?!?! Huh!?!?!"

"Shut your mouth!" McGonagall yelled, "Or I'll come back there and kick your ass!"

"I'd like to see you try _Grandma_!"

Robin got up as the bus started off down the road, and spread out her arms yelling, "You wanna piece of this?! Huh? Huh?"

McGonagall wlked down the middle of the bus and tried to throw a punch at Robin who blocked it and smacked her in the nose. 

"Ya gonna cry? Ya gonna squirt some? Huh? Huh?"

Then Robin kept smacking her in the face without stopping till McGonagall cried, "Alright! Alright! You win, bitch!"

"Oh! You had enough? Poor grandma!"

McGonagall finally left and Robin sat down.

"That was fun."

"Yah." 

"Look we're almost there!" Viv cried, staring out the window.

**********

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TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	2. Default Chapter Title

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Z The Very Narsty Amusement Park Stor Part II!!

Disclaimer: They ain't my characters, 'sept Viv and Robin. Oh yah, I don't have anything against gay people or carnies, I know a few, in fact.

"Look!" Viv said, "We're almost there."

They had turned a bend on the bumpy road with cracked pavement that the city was to lazy and stubborn to repair because they wanted to spend their money on a third new football stadium, and they came into view of a very large and gay looking amusement park.

"Well that sucks." Grumbled Bob.

"I thought we were going to a_ real_ amusement park!" Ron whined, "This place looks really gay."

"You're the one who sounds like your in N*SYNC or something, so quit whining already." Hermione snapped.

"Go screw yourself." Ron flipped her off.

The buses stopped suddenly, throwing them all onto the floor, which had gum and shit on it.

The all got up and walked off the piece of crap would-be buses.

"Everyone get your candy asses over here!!!!" barked Snape, sounding like that dude on G.I. Jane, "You dumb-asses better not cause any fucking trouble!! Listen to the carnies, even though they're probably even dumber than Neville!! No freaking drugs either!!!" he sprayed them all with spit, "And any one I find screwing in the bathroom stalls gets a detention for the rest of their short, pathetic lives!!"

He took a cigarett out of his pocket, stuck it in his mouth and lit it.

"Ah, that fucking better," he said calmly, "and remember, I don't wanta see any of you freaking losers the whole time I'm here, so stay outta my way! Got it?!"

All the Hogwarts kids walked off in different directions.

"Snape is such a freaking loser," Hermione said, "I mean, he leaves his freaking desk drawer unlocked, and then wonders where the hell all his pot went."

"This place looks so gay," Robin said.

"I say we split up and look for good rides," Harry said, "Then we'll meet back here, at the giant statue of liquid cheese in 30 minutes. Yo?"

" 'K, whatever." Robin said.

They all walked off in different directions.

30 minutes later, at the Giant liquid cheese statue,

"There are freaking good rides it this pansy park!!!!" Viv screamed.

"What you guys find?" Ron asked. 

"Nuttin," Bob said, "so maybe we could skip right to the part about screwing each other..?"

Everyone ignored him.

"I didn't find a freaking thing," Harry said.

"Only a food stand," Hermone grumbled.

"Everything here is a pansy gay ride." Said Robin.

"No shit." 

"Are there any water rides?" Bob asked, "We could have a white T-shirt contest!"

Viv sighed, "Where you always horny, or is this a recent development?"

"There was one water ride," Harry said, "but the line was long."

"That's no problem." Hermione said, "We'll just hop a few fences."

They all walked over to the ride,and after pretending to have to puke in the fake bushes by the fences, they climbed over them and ran to the front of the line, and got in front of two Ravenclaws who were too stoned to notice them.

While they were in line, the girls magicked themselves into string bikini tops and short-shorts.

Around 5 minutes later, a carnie shoved them into a raft that was falling apart and had murky brownish yellow water(?) in the bottom.

"Yeeew!" Hermione said, "I think some one pissed in here!"

The raft suddenly bumped against the crumbling paper-mache rocks on the side of the "river". Every one grabbed on the the handle in the middle of the raft.

Every one that is, except for Bob,

"Oh no! Terbulence! Terbulence!" he said in monotone, "I am falling!"

He got up and pretended to fall on Viv. Like we've never heard that one before, yo?

"Look at that, more bumping!" he said, and started rolling all over her lap.

"Rriiigghhhttt.." Harry said.

"Oh look!" Viv said sarcastically, pointing in no peticular direction, "naked french chicks!"

"Where?!?!" Bob, Harry, and Ron yelled, standing up in the raft and looking around.

"That was really sad, that I had to say that to get that horny bastard of my legs." Viv sighed.

"Yep." Hermione shook her head.

When the pansy ride stopped, they weren't even remotley wet. All except Bob. And I don't want to have to explain that. 

"This place is sooooo freacking boring." Ron grumbled.

"No shit," Robin said.

"Why don't we highjack the buses, head into town, and go clubbing?" Bob asked.

"You're a hell of a lot smarter than you look," Viv grinned at him, "but then again, that's not saying a whole lot."

So they all went out to the crappy parking lot where people were dealing drugs and pissing in broad day light.

"God!" Ron said, putting away his wallet and walking away from two guys in parkas, "Crack's expensive here!" 

"We should really stock up on extacy," Hermione said, "if we're going to go clubbing."

"Good idea," said Harry, "I'm running low."

So they spent about ten minutes going through the parking lot, looking for extacy dealers, and came back with about four pounds of pills.

"This should be enough," Viv said, "we won't be gone for long."

They all hopped on the bus and Bob jumped in the driver's seat.

"Yo, I think I can drive this thing," He mumbled, looking around the dashboard, trying to figure out what the steering wheel was for.

"I'll do it," Viv said, sitting in his lap.

"You can drive?" Robin asked.

"I drove a golf cart once," she said, adding hastily, "I wasn't playing golf either, I was stealing it."

She turned the ignition, and the ingine grumbled, but didn't start.

"Shit!" Harry said, "The teachers probably emptied the tank in case someone tried to steal it!"

"It's alright," Ron said, "I got some Absolute in my bag, it'll probably run on that."

He got out to side of the bus and emptied a bottle of vodka into the gas thingy.

"That should do it." 

Viv turned the ignition, and the bus started up.

She made a sharp turn, and drove outta the parking lot at 90 mph. She turned on the radio to Live105.3 which was playing Limp Bizket. Bob reached forward and cranked up the sound. 

"This shit rocks!" he yelled.

Don't ask how you can get a California radio station in Britain.

They drove for about 20 minutes, but were plenty entertained by Viv's driving. She had a tendency to run other cars and people over, especaily since she was driving on the wrong side of the road.

"Yo," she screamed over the music, "This is the American way to drive! Yo?"

She flipped passing people off, and Bob helped her so she could use her hands to drive, not like it would of made one fucking bit of difference anyway, but hey.

Finally, they reached town.

"Where to park," Viv muttered, "Where to park?"

She eventually just ran into the front window of a grocery store. 

"Everyone out!" she said, throwing up her arms.

"Mmmm," Bob said, "but I'm so comfy."

"Yah, I know, but that dude outside looks really pissed, so we gotta head out before he holds us up for trashing his store."

"Come on, yo?" Robin said urgently.

"Comin'," Bob said.

They stunned the store owner dude and walked down the street, looking for some decent indecent places to hang in.

They walked up to a huge building called "The Club Where You Go When You Really Just Want To Screw and Have No Intetion of Actually Dancing."

"This looks like a nice place," Bob said insistantly.

"I'd say so," Viv said, "especailly since I've finally decided I like you."

"Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Score!!!!!!!" He yelled.

"It looks great," said Ron.

"Yo." Said Robin.

"Yah, well who are Harry and I gonna screw with, huh?" Hermione grumbled.

"Well," Ron mused, "each other, I suppose, or maybe some random stranger you meet."

"You serious?!?" Hermione gasped.

"No, I am." Bob said.

Ok, that was stupid, but it had to happen sooner or later.

"What's wrong with that?" Harry asked.

"Hello!" Hermione yelled, "I'm not gonna get fucked by some loser I don't know!"

"Then get screwed by a loser you do know," Viv said, "like Harry."

"No way."

"Someone give her some freaking extacy!!" Robin complained.

All of them tackled Hermione to the ground and forced some of the "medication" down her throat.

"That's better," Bob said, dusting himself off.

"Yo," Viv agreed.

They walked in to the club and saw that some people _were_ actually dancing. A group of slutty girls in silver mini dresses that reached their asses walked by. They all giggled,and a few of them waved to the guys.

"Hello!" Robin said, "Can't they see us standing right here?!"

"Those sluts are get a connection between my foot and their asses if they ever try to make a move on my man again." Viv raved.

"_Yes!!!_" Bob mouthed to Harry, "_I'm her man!_"

Hermione let the way out to the dance floor with the help of her feel good medicine. Robin freaked with Ron, Bob with Viv, Harry with some chick in a red mini dress, and Hermione with a _fine_ German import, which she didn't realize was Viltor Krum, until he said,

"Herm-own-ninny! Is zat you?"

"Yo, yo!" she said strangley, "Vicky! I'm so glad you're here!! Let's go screw in the back room, yo?"

"Vow! Herm-own-niny, vhat zee fuck are you on?"

"Extacy!!! Whoo-Hooo!!!!"

So Krum and Hermione, who have a really big age difference (15 and 19, yo?), went in to the back room and joined an orgy that was already there.

Meanwhile

"So stranger, what's your name?"

"Harry. And yourself?"

"Natasha!!! Yah!!! That's right! Freak me good!!!'

Meanwhile, elsewhere..

"Wow Bob, I thought you were gonna suck, but you're great!!"

"Thank's Viv, your not bad yourself!!"

Meanwhile, elsewhere from elsewhere.

"Oh Robin!"

"Oh Ron!"

"Oh Robin!"

"OH RON!!!"

Meanwhile, elsewhere from the elsewhere that was elsewhere from elsewhere.

"Oh Severus!!!"

"Mmmm, That's good!!!" Snape said.

"Shit! You guys are sick!!" Harry walked in on McGonagall and Snape making out in another backroom.

"Get your own room Potter!!!" Snape yelled, "But leave that chick, she's hot."

"No thanks," she said shakily, "I think I'll join Harry."

They went into the next room, which was to dark to see anything. 

Harry called out, "Anyone there?"

All they heard were grunting and groaning sounds. Harry took his zippo out of his pocket and lit it. What he saw made him yell out in horror,

"All Mighty God, protect us in thy infinite mercy!!! That's just SICK!!!!"

Voldermort was having a threesome with Wormtail and his snake, Nagini. That vision was undescibably narsty, yo?

"Oooh!" Voldermort said, "I told you helpers were rewarded, Wormtail!!! Ooooh look! It's Potter! He can join us!!!"

Harry and Natasha didn't hang around any longer. They finally found a room that was empty, where they screwed and lived happily ever after.

Meanwhile

"I am so glad I got with you Bob, you're hot!"

"Yah. You are too. Ya wanna joint?"

"Sure, that last 'session' we had was tough, I need to calm down a bit."

"Here you go," Bob handed Viv some pot.

Just as they were starting to calm down, the girl in the silver mini dress walked in.

"Oooh look!" she said, "It's that hotty I saw at the door!"

"Get away from my man or I'm gonna open up a can of whoop-ass on your butt!!! Yo?!?!" Viv yelled, the pot not taking affect yet.

"Yah right!" the slut said, "I could so kick your pathetic ass!"

Viv got off the the floor very slowly, the manic glint in her eyes coming into focus. She approached the slut, who tried to claw her with her cheap manacured nails, but Viv ducked and punched her in the face.

"That's how really women fight, Yo?!?!"

The slut screamed and grabbed Viv's hair.

"Bitch!" she yelled.

Bob sat on the ground, watching in awe.

Viv called upon the almighty Goddess within and did a round the house kick, knocking the slut to the ground.

The slut got off her pathetic ass and tried to kick Viv in the shins. Viv jumped and ran behind her. She got her in a head lock and ripped her arm behind her back. Viv relentlessly kicked her in the ass, till she finally dropped to the ground and sobbed over her broken nails and bruised butt.

"That'll teach you to make the moves on my man!!! Yo?!?"

Viv was so annoyed, she went to find Ron, Harry, Robin, and Hermoine. She grabbed Bob and they started to walk back to the bus. It took a while to get Harry and Natasha apart.

The group was walking back down the street, when 6 girls in silver mini dresses came out of an alley way and surrounded them.

"We are the gang of Sluts in Silver Minin Dresses, and you kicked our leader's ass," said a short blonde one to Viv, as she swung a pair of nun chucks around, "now you all must pay. We will kick your weak candy asses and take all your men!!!"

Viv got into a combat stance..

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's the end of Part II, but I'll write part III soooooooon!!!!!!

Love from Trekky the writer, and Tigerlily the editor and revisor!!


	3. Default Chapter Title

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Z The Very Narsty No Longer about an Amusement Park Story Part III:

Disclaimer: Use your imagination. **In real life by the way, coffee won't get you of a high, but this is _MAGIC _coffee, so it does.**

Viv got into combat stance, Robin dropped her purse to the ground, and Hermione giggled.

"Someone get her some coffee please!!" Robin complained.

"Here you go." Harry poured some 'magickal' java down her throught, don't ask where they got it.

Almost instantly, Hermione got back to normal, _almost_ instantly, first she threw up her last three meals all over a brunette who had a baseball bat in her hand.

All at once the sluts in silver started to attack. Viv used her yoga flexability and kung-fu moves to break the short blonde's neck and also to break another girl's ass. Trust me, you can have your butt broken. It hurts, I've done it before, you can't walk, run, stand, sit down, or move for around 2 weeks. Luckily though, you don't have to wear a cast, and you can just lay on your stomach and watch TV all day.

Robin kick boxed a tall barbie-doll sorta girl in to a pole and another one into the steet where she got run over by a skate border, but unforntunatly suvived.

Hermione punched one out, then bored the last girl to death literally, by talking about everything they learned in Arithmancy class last week.

"Well that was fun," Robin said, dusting herself off.

"It really made me fucking horny," Bob said.

"Me too," Harry put in.

"Yah." said Ron.

"Like we needed to know that shit!" Hermione said.

They went back to the bus and Viv drove them back to Hogwarts.

"What a day!" Robin sighed, steaching. They were once more back in GCR.

"I think I'll be staying for about a month," Viv grinned slyly at Bob, "unless of course you wanna keep taking your aging potion.?"

"Not just yes," he yelled, "HELL YES!!!!!!!!"

Hermione sat down at a table and started writing another sick letter about sex to Krum.

Harry had some pot and settled down for a quiet evening.

Ron and Robin sat down on the couch and started making out.

You don't want to know what Bob and Viv where doing.

After about 15 minutes, the rest of the 5th years got back.

"Thanks a lot for stealing the bus," Seamus said to the fab 5, "We had to share a bus with the Slytherins on the way back, and Malfoy kept trying to fuck everyone!"

"Sorry." Hermione said.

"Sahee," Harry mumbled incoherently.

Ron and Robin might have been saying sorry, but no one could tell.

Viv and Bob were done with their little experience, and were now smoking weed with Harry.

The end sort of:

In the real end, Bob took anti-aging potions the rest of his life, married Viv, and they had 5 kids, all of whom were accidents.

Ron and Robin got married at 16 and had 8 accidental kids, who's place in the world was to baby-sit Bob and Viv's brats, while they would go screw all the time.

Harry turned gay for 3 years, but turned straight again after Fluer Decalour came back into his life. They had 6 kids. All accidents.

Hermione never married Krum, but they stayed together for 4 years. After they broke up, Hermione married Malfoy and made it her personal quest to make him straight again. They had 15 kids, 13 of whom were really Krum's, whom Hermione cheated with twice a month, every month, when she was tried of Malfoy's insesive gayness.

**__**

THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank You For Reading Our Corny Story,

Love Ya Always, sorta,

Trekky & Tigerlily


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